A Goal Achieved (aka, this is why I love climbing)

So as I stated in my early posts, this blog has two main goals.  One is to document places I climb and who I climb with.  I don’t want to be the guy 20 years from now that doesn’t remember the great climbing partners he’s had (though there are a few I won’t mind forgetting) and the excellent rock he has been on.  The second is for me to track my progress as a climber by setting goals and hopefully getting input from the climbing blogoshere on how to achieve them.  Right now I am still a lowly gumby with a lot of work to do.

However, one of my main goals as of late has been to progress my trad skills and break into 5.9 territory (hopefully 5.10 by the end of the summer).  The move from 5.7 to 5.8 was surprisingly uneventful.  I have climbed a handful of 5.8 lines and never really felt like it was a serious push.  It did feel good to get that first one in a couple of months ago (One Fist Two Fist Red Fist Blue Fist – 5.8 – Dip Wall, Red River Gorge), but none of the 8′s I’ve climbed have felt like they were pushing me as much as I expected.  They simply weren’t inspiring.  So, I decided I should just go ahead and hit 5.9 running and see how it goes.  Yesterday it went, and it went well!

I first heard about Autumn (5.9 – Long Wall, RRG, KY) three months ago when a friend of mine at the gym mentioned that it was one of his dad’s favorite trad climbs.  This guy’s dad has been climbing since the 70′s and has climbed at pretty much every major crag in the Eastern U.S. and several out west.  Hearing that a 5.9 in the Red could be one of his favorites intrigued me greatly, and in the back of my mind Autumn became the driving force behind my desire to climb harder trad.  One major factor in pushing yourself in climbing is motivation.  If you aren’t deeply motivated, it is easy to rationalize a plateau in performance and not push yourself.  Autumn has been my motivation for the past three months.  About three weeks ago I decided that I felt strong enough mentally and physically to give it a go.  I won’t say I felt like I would send it first try, but I definitely felt like getting on it.  Sadly, those three weeks went by with no attempts on the route.  One weekend it rained, the next I was climbing with Iowa Girl, I had injured knees, and she didn’t seem too stoked for hitting up Long Wall.  The next weekend was Looking Glass which was a trip totally worth delaying Autumn for since it has been a goal for longer than I have been climbing.  Mostly it was the knee pain that prevented me from getting on Autumn.  I guess it was a way to rationalize not pushing myself too hard.

So last week I made myself a promise.  I said that no matter what, I would get get on Autumn this weekend.  The weekend came, and things weren’t looking good.  All of my usual trad partners were busy on the weekend or had other plans for climbing.  I got in with a couple of guys going to Muscle Beach on Saturday, but didn’t have anyone to go to Long Wall with.  I was determined to get on Autumn Sunday; to the point that I was considering paying one of my friends to be belay slave for the day.  Luckily someone responded to my call for a partner on RedRiverClimbing.com.  He had a couple of projects at Long Wall too and is also a stronger climber than I, meaning I could feel safer pushing myself on something harder.

The day started off poorly.  We decided to warm up on Long Wall Chimney (5.7) and I took the lead.  However, we didn’t really have the pro for the right side crack (about three #5 Camalots would be perfect) and the left side looked thinner and more protectable (#2 crack for twenty feet or so about half way up).  Because of this climbing partner and I decided the best bet would be to climb 15 feet or so up the right crack, plugging the #5 as high as possible and then doing a rising traverse left to the smaller crack to reach the ledge above.  After the traverse I found that the smaller crack was complete and utter choss.  I plugged a .5 deep in a sandy friable crack between to blocks simply to cool my head but there is no way it would have held a fall at all.  The crack didn’t start looking better (in fact it looked worse) until about 6 feet up. Climbing above a super chossy piece, risking a 25′ decking pendulum swing really tweaked me out.  This is NOT why I love climbing.  

I definitely was not mentally prepared for this.  I managed to get to the nicer crack, placing a super bomb #3 at the bottom of it and pulling up into the off width below it to get a good rest.  The mental taxation of the previous moves had taken its toll on me though, and when it came time to pull out of the off width into a slightly overhanging lay-back, I couldn’t manage to pull the moves.  They should have been easy moves, but I simply wasn’t ready to climb any higher in my current state of mind.  After two or three goes with no success, I checked the #3 for stability and lowered off.  Climbing partner then gave it a go.  He was stronger than I, and also stuck with the right hand crack in spite of lacking the gear to protect it.  He chose to walk the #5 up the wide crack as went, hop scotching it over the #4 plugging it a total of 4 times in one pitch.  I then followed and cleaned.  Pulling the moves on the right crack felt way better than what I had done on the left, and I am convinced I would have been able to finish that side in the same fashion as he had.  Oh well, sometimes poor decisions lead to sketchy situations.  Needless to say, I was mentally fatigued and feeling like a total chuff bag after this.

We did a sport line on Climbing Parter’s tick list (he has a goal of climbing every 5.11 in the Red, so far is he is at 80%).  The opening move was a long throw to a nice pocket but I simply couldn’t pull it.  I was always about 3/4″ from the pocket so after about four tries I came down and let him get his send on.  He crushed it.  Again, I felt like a pile and was really doubting my attempt on Autumn. Oddly enough, this is still one thing I love about climbing.

By this time, the sun was out in full force and it was HOT.  We hiked over to the base of Autumn and took refuge under some large boulders to rest and let the sun move to the other side of the wall.  30 minutes later, I was racking up for my first go on a 5.9 trad climb, and I was going to lead it.  Having never even followed a 5.9 route, I had no idea what to expect, and with the events earlier that day, I wasn’t quite feeling up to the challenge.  Sitting at the base of the climb, it just looked so spectacular. There was no way I wasn’t at least going to try it.  Add to that the fact that I refused to drive home from another weekend at the gorge without getting on it.  It was time to focus and let go of the morning failures.  This is why I love climbing.

I chalked up, checked my gear, checked my knots, and touched the rock.  Pulling the first couple of moves all I could think was how important this climb was to me.  The moves so far were great and really conducive to my style of high foot, smear, lie back, stand up.  I was psyched, and memories of a bad morning on the rock were washed away.  Nothing mattered but this climb, this rock, this crack, and the challenge at hand.  The power that climbing has to remove any problem from my life, even if only for a moment, is unmatched by any other activity.  Focusing on every move, picturing the next placement for protection, determining how to tackle the problem directly in front of you.  This is better than any meditation or therapy.  This is rock climbing at its finest. This is why I love climbing.

Before I knew it I was at the rest ledge below the crux.  I placed a solid #3 above my head and prepared for a good shake out of the arms and some stretching of the calves.  This is however, where I made a mistake.  While I was resting I should have been sizing up the crux for protection, but instead I worked out the moves in my head a few times.  I didn’t think about which piece I would need or where to put it, something one should always be aware of when pulling into more difficult terrain.  About half way through the crux I realized I wasn’t getting a comfy stance to size up the gear, and I couldn’t see the crack from my current laid-back position beside the flake.  An attempt to throw in a #2 blindly proved unsuccessful so I decided to down climb back to the ledge.  At this point I was a little upset at myself.  Had I sized up the gear ahead of time I would have seen the perfect place for the #3 HB Quadcam two inches below where I tried to plug the #2 Camalot and I wouldn’t have needed to down climb.  But alas, it was a mistake that taught me a valuable lesson.  

After a short rest I was amped because I knew I could pull the moves, and, having figured out the pro, it shouldn’t be too bad.  I pulled back up to my previous stance, slammed in the cam and pulled a big move to the top of the flake.  The blood was pumping and the adrenaline flowing.  This is why I love climbing.  Pulling above the crux I got a solid stance to throw in one final piece of pro.  I was shaking with a mad case of ‘Elvis leg’ as I stood on a small edge and a good smear.  ”Just breath and chill out man, make those legs stand still, get this piece in and climb 8 more feet to the anchors,” I thought to myself.  ”Eight more feet to the anchors!” a voice inside me responded.  Excitement flooded my veins.  This is why I love climbing.  

I plugged my last #3 Camalot and continued climbing.  Pulling onto a nice ledge with the anchors at my chest, I pulled a draw off of my harness, clipped the bolt and clipped my rope through it.  A mad rush ran through my body.  Three months of aiming at this climb and  a month of thwarted efforts to get on it all lead to this.  The feeling of achievement was unimaginable.  I haven’t felt this good in a long time.  Sure it was just a 5.9 which, in a world of 5.14 routes going on gear that are hundreds of feet taller than Autumn, is pretty much unremarkable.  But to me, this was my goal and I achieved it.  I was inspired by this piece of rock and it had motivated me to push myself harder.  Without that motivation where would I be? Maybe still climbing 5.7 like I was three months ago?  Maybe still rationalizing why I wasn’t strong enough to even climb 5.8 trad lines?  I’ll never know and I’m glad I found this motivation.  Now I just need another stellar line push me harder.

Growth doesn’t stop with the achievement of one goal.  If one achievement doesn’t inspire you to set a new, higher goal, then you have achieved little.  Climbing Autumn was my motivation for three months.  Now it is my inspiration for the future of my climbing.  Thinking of the feeling I had when I clipped those anchors drives me to find my next goal. In a time when my future in other areas of life is quite uncertain, this inspiration is needed greatly.  This is why I love climbing!

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